According to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, love consists of three elements:
Intimacy
Intimacy is the degree to which one partner feels intimately connected to the other and the strength of their relationship. Intimacy-level couples appreciate and comprehend their partners.
Passion
Passion is predicated on romantic sentiments, physical allure, and intimate sexual relations with the other person.
Decision/Commitment
Decision/Commitment stands for cognitive elements like admitting one’s love and resolving to keep the relationship going.
Sternberg asserts that these elements are essential to the concept of love and that they interact in diverse ways to produce distinct types of love (Sternberg, 1986).
LOVE ELEMENTS
Sternberg (1986) asserts that the three elements of love—commitment, passion, and intimacy—are essential to what love is and interact in various ways to produce eight distinct forms of love. The notion states that when all three elements are met, “true” love—also known as complete love—is attained.
Non-Love
When none of the three elements of love are present in a relationship, it is called nonlove, the first kind of love that Sternberg describes (Sternberg, 1986). Sternberg asserts that nonlove “characterizes the large majority of our personal relationships” and is evident in the “casual interactions” that occur in our daily lives (Sternberg, 1986, p. 123). Since none of the elements of love are present in these relationships and interactions, there is absolutely no love present. This is understandable given that individuals generally don’t show any kind of affection for a fleeting experience in their lives.
Friendship or Liking
When the intimacy element of love is present in a relationship but the passion and decision/commitment elements are not, Sternberg presents liking as the second form of love (Sternberg, 1986). Sentiments of “closeness, bondedness, and warmth towards the other, without feelings of intense passion or long-term commitment” are what Sternberg defines as liking (Sternberg, 1986, p. 123). The relationships we call friendships in our life are a good indicator of liking (Sternberg, 1986).
As we all know, friendships may take many forms, and Sternberg asserts that if a friendship has any additional elements of love, it is not seen as liking but rather as a distinct kind of love (Sternberg, 1986). Therefore, the only type of love that is categorized as liking is friendship that lacks the intensity and decision/commitment elements of love.
Infatuation
Sternberg defines infatuated love as the third form of love, which occurs when a relationship has the passion element of love but lacks the intimacy and commitment/decision elements (Sternberg, 1986). Sternberg’s Fatuous Love is a kind of love that lacks intimacy (a profound connection and understanding) but includes passion (a romantic and physical attraction) and commitment (a determination to keep the relationship going). This kind of love is frequently typified by passionate but shallow whirlwind relationships.
According to Sternberg, “love at first sight” falls under this category of love, which entails “a high degree of psychophysiological arousal, manifested in somatic symptoms such as increased heartbeat or even palpitations of the heart, increased hormonal secretions, erection of genitals (penis or clitoris, and so on)” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124). There is no time for the development of any close sentiments or for a commitment to be formed because this type of love happens so fast (Sternberg, 1986).
Empty Love
Sternberg defines empty love as the fourth form of love, which occurs when a relationship has the decision/commitment aspect of love but lacks the intimacy and passion elements (Sternberg, 1986). This kind of love is frequently observed in certain long-term partnerships when the pair no longer feels the same way about one another. Sternberg, however, highlights an intriguing phenomenon concerning this type of love: “In other societies, empty love may be the first stage of a long-term relationship” (e.g., in an arranged marriage), but “in our society, we are most accustomed to empty love as it occurs as a final or near-final stage of a long-term relationship” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).
Romantic Love
According to Sternberg (1986), romantic love is the fifth form of love that exists when a relationship has the closeness and intensity of love but lacks the decision-making or commitment element. According to Sternberg (1986, p. 124), this type of love may also be described as “liking with an added element, namely, the arousal brought about by physical attraction and its concomitants.” “Romeo and Juliet” is a well-known literary illustration of this type of love, as the pair has strong and deep feelings for each other but has not committed to one another (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124). Before the parties have made a commitment to a long-term relationship, romantic love can also be discovered in the early stages of certain long-term partnerships.
Companionate Love
When a relationship has the closeness and decision/commitment aspects of love but lacks the passion element, Sternberg presents companionate love as the sixth form of love (Sternberg, 1986). Sternberg’s Consummate Love is the ideal kind of love that consists of three elements: Commitment (the choice to stay in love over the long term), Passion (physical and romantic attraction), and Intimacy (deep connection and understanding). It is regarded as the most comprehensive and well-rounded kind of love. “A long-term, committed friendship, the kind that frequently occurs in marriages in which the physical attraction (a major source of passion) has died down” is how Sternberg characterizes this form of love (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124). When the “spark” or passion in a marriage is extinguished, usually over time, it can turn into companionate love since marriages usually include such high levels of intimacy and decision/commitment aspects of love (Sternberg, 1986).
Fatuous Love
Sternberg defines fatuous love as the seventh form of love, which occurs when a relationship has the passion and decision/commitment aspects of love but lacks the intimacy element (Sternberg, 1986). “A commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing element of intimate involvement,” according to Sternberg, who defines fatuous love as “the kind of love we sometimes associate with Hollywood, or with whirlwind courtships, in which a couple meets on Day X, gets engaged two weeks later, and marries the next month” (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124). These relationships lack the personal component of love, which takes time to develop, and as a result, they may be more prone to collapse (Sternberg, 1986).
Consummate Love
Last but not least, Sternberg presents consummate love as the eighth kind of love, which occurs when a relationship possesses all three elements of love (Sternberg, 1986). Nowadays, consummate love is often the first thing that comes to mind when someone thinks about love. Furthermore, it appears that most individuals seek after complete love (Sternberg, 1986). Outside of sexual relationships, many parents’ love for their kids, also known as “unconditional love,” is an example of consummate love (Sternberg, 1986).
Author
